I have a confession to make; I’ve tried to keep some sense of anonymity until recently. I did it for my daughter, at first. Now, Iâ€™m officially â€œout of the closetâ€, so to speak. I felt it was time because we shouldn’t have to hide how we feel. I unblocked people from Facebook and opened everything up to the public; I started putting my blog out there a little more. I knew there were certain risks with that decision, but Iâ€™m tired of hiding. Itâ€™s taken 2 Â½ years to get to this point and enough is enough. Iâ€™m sad that it ever had to be that way.
My daughter hides because she has difficulty communicating with her daughterâ€™s adoptive parents any more than is necessary. She has all of her dadâ€™s side of the family blocked on Facebook. She does not want to hear what they have to say because they continue to ignore her grief and pain. It has become a part of who she is and if they cannot acknowledge that, then she will not acknowledge them. I agree with her. Why is it that they had no problem accepting the happiness the adoption brought the adoptive parents, but they refuse to acknowledge the pain and grief it brought our family? Everyone wants us to just â€œget over itâ€ and â€œmove onâ€. Well, coming out of hiding is me â€œmoving onâ€. Of course, itâ€™s not what they will want. They want us to get over it and keep quiet. I wonâ€™t play by their rules any longer.
I encrypted some of my posts. Iâ€™m not happy about it. My granddaughterâ€™s adoptive parents have found my blog. Iâ€™m not sure how they found it. I didn’t come out of â€œhidingâ€ until after they did so they couldn’t have found it through me. I must not have done a very good job of protecting my anonymity.
I wasn’t worried at first, but then they got on and racked up 58 page views total in about 15 minutes. Iâ€™m not sure what their purpose was.. This is one place I’ve found that helps me come to terms with what has happened in our lives. Itâ€™s one place where I can possibly warn and stop someone else from making the same mistakes we did. Other than our therapistâ€™s office, itâ€™s the one place where I can honestly tell people what happened without feeling threatened. I perceived their actions as a threat, and I resent the intrusion. I may eventually take the password off those posts, but it will stay for now. If youâ€™d like the password please click on the â€œcontact meâ€ page and complete the email form.