We can't believe you are 9 today! Time goes by so fast. We hope your day is extra special and all your wishes come true. You are the reason this blog was started, so we hope all our readers will join us in wishing you the happiest birthday ever! Read More
Happy Birthday, Olivia Grace!
We can't believe you are 8 today! Time goes by so fast. We hope your day is extra special and all your wishes come true. You are the reason this blog was started, so we hope all our readers will join us in wishing you the happiest birthday ever! Read More
Thank heavens I found them
I recently caught a segment on PBS NEWSHOUR and the topic was in vitro fertilization (IVF) and its ethical concerns. But as usual there was little mention of the children created by these methods. What was most striking to me is that throughout all the discussion of multiples and the problems therein, and about how to determine a success rate, there was never any mention of the child who would be created--except in so far as how multiples have a higher likelihood of health problems than singles. But there was no mention at all about which people these children are biologically related to and Read More
Freedom of Speech–Part 2
As I have mentioned before, I don’t believe adoptees have freedom of speech. Whenever an adopted person tries to bring up the fact that adoption is not all it's cracked to be, he or she is met with rebuttals. I analyzed several of those rebuttals in my earlier post. So now I'd like to share another rebuttal, and one that I consider the piece de resistance— “What did you want your mother to do? You were unwanted. She did what she thought was best for you by giving you up.” Aargh! Obviously, anyone who could say such a thing has been too influenced (brainwashed) by the adoption industry and Read More
All I want for Christmas…*
All I want for Christmas...is a baybee. Or so it seems in Hollywood. Every time one turns around there is another story about a Hollywood star adopting a child, thinking about adopting a child, or being touted for having adopted a child. And if it's not adoption, it's surrogacy. It's starting to look a lot like one would not be remiss to assume that the biological connection between a parent and a child is practically irrelevant among many of those with wealth and privilege. But my question is: Do these adoptions always give a child a better life or a stable two-parent family? Granted, I will Read More
The Party Line
The party line for adopted persons goes something like this: "Your parents are the people who raised you. Your parents are the ones who were there when you were sick, who took of care of you, etc." I was reminded once again of this attitude by someone who, of course, is not adopted. And I must admit, upon hearing this, I was taken aback. I spend so much time online in the adoption reform community, and with supportive friends in my real life, that I had forgotten this is not some naïve attitude from back in the day. It was said to me recently by someone who is a highly educated Read More
I’m Pissed!
As anyone who reads this blog knows--I could never get it back. I could never get back the life I was born to live. And how does that make me feel? Pissed! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am f***ing pissed. Who on earth are these crazy people who decided I was some kind of 'blank slate'--whatever the heck that is? I am a member of the L family and the M family. I carry their genes. I look like them and I share their medical history. I am not a member of the CP family, as in, 'Cabbage Patch' family. Of course, one would not be remiss to assume that all adoptees of the BSE are related since we all Read More
Re-blogged “Please Don’t Celebrate My Adoption”
"Today begins National Adoption Awareness Month, and initiative originally intended to raise awareness of the thousands of U.S. children in foster care who are waiting to be adopted because they cannot be reunified with their biological families." Go read more by Karen Pickell at Between -- A View From The Space That Separates American Indian AdopteesDAniel Ibn ZaydThe Life of VonThe Adopted OnesLost Daughter'sNo Apologies for Being MeAdoptee RestorationLaura Dennis BlogNeither Here Nor There...The Declassified AdopteeMothermadeJaeRan KimSister Read More
“Clouds In My Coffee”
My husband and I took a trip recently. We went to see his parents, whom we haven't seen or talked to in over 4 years. We decided to take the trip for a few reasons, but the main reason was so they could see and hear how HE felt about what has happened. My husband told his parents this, and more, when we were there. As you can probably guess, things did not go well. In fact, we seemed to annoy them more than anything. I felt as if I was no more than dirt under their feet. My father-in-law even made a point of positioning himself, I presume, to limit his view of me. My mother-in-law first Read More
Would You Be Pro-Adoption?
Not too long ago Robin, our resident adoptee writer, asked me the following question: "If Olivia's adoption hadn't closed, do you think you would be pro-adoption?â€I answered with the following, and she suggested I share it in a blog post: "I’ve asked myself this very question many times, and I don’t believe I would have been pro-adoption even if Charlie wouldn’t have objected in the end. If she would have said the night before or the day she signed the papers, “Mom, I’m fine. This is the right decision.†I still think there would be issues with us Read More
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