If there’s one thing I know, it’s that an unmarried parent does not make a terrible parent just because of her marital status. Sorry conservatives, you are totally wrong on that one. And as our country and even the world become more conservative I feel I must raise the alarm. We cannot go back to the idea that all that matters for a child’s best interest is that he is raised by married parents, even if they are not the child's biological parents. Of course, if we lived in an ideal world every child would be born into a stable, loving relationship and would be kept by their natural Read More
Freedom of Speech–Part 2
As I have mentioned before, I don’t believe adoptees have freedom of speech. Whenever an adopted person tries to bring up the fact that adoption is not all it's cracked to be, he or she is met with rebuttals. I analyzed several of those rebuttals in my earlier post. So now I'd like to share another rebuttal, and one that I consider the piece de resistance— “What did you want your mother to do? You were unwanted. She did what she thought was best for you by giving you up.” Aargh! Obviously, anyone who could say such a thing has been too influenced (brainwashed) by the adoption industry and Read More
I don’t drink Adoption Kool-Aid
{Please click on ‘Read More’ to best view this post} I don’t believe that the bond between a natural mother and her child is meaningless. I don’t believe that being raised in an adoptive home is the same as being raised in one’s biological home. I don’t believe my natural mother was a breeder who had me for another couple. I don’t believe adoptive parents are always better. I don’t believe that adoption agencies or attorneys who make their money off of moving a child from her biological mother to other parents have either the child or the natural parents’ best interests at Read More
Family History Giveaway Winner
Congratulations, Marylee! You have been selected as the winner of the personal family history giveaway. You will be contacted by Nechamie's representative, Joan, via the email address you left with your comment. Joan will assist you in making the necessary arrangements for your article. If you'd like, we would be happy to publish your story here at All in the Family of Adoption. Please keep us posted. Read More
“Bonded at Birth” Virtual Book Tour
Ah, it’s November. My all-time favorite month for good food and good company as Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Unfortunately, November has also been co-opted by the adoption industry with their “National Adoption Awareness Month (NAAM)”. I do find it odd that a whole month has to be devoted to making people aware of adoption. I mean, really, aren’t most people already familiar with adoption? Is it really something that large numbers of people don’t know exists...hard for me to believe. Since we in adoption reform and adoptee rights have a somewhat (cough, cough) different perspective Read More
My Life as a Pizza
So, I have two lives. The life I lived as the daughter of my adoptive parents and the potential life I would have lived if I'd been kept. I'm related to the first group by emotional attachment (and a piece of paper) as well as shared life experiences, and to the other group by blood. But I'm finding that it’s not as easy as I’d hoped to integrate the two. The early search movement, which I wholeheartedly endorse, stressed that having both the adoptive and original families in an adopted person's life would only increase the amount of love s/he had. But I think many of us have found that Read More
De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Part 2
We have a lot invested in this culture in the belief that anyone who adopts is a wonderful person who takes a non-blood related child into their home and treats him or her as their own (read: biological), and that the child will always be better off. But this is clearly a fairy tale, Hollywood-esque version of adoption. Giving a child up for adoption is a risky business. Although most people don't want to hear that because it implies that not everyone who adopts is an honest and trustworthy person who has the child's best interests at heart. It also implies that those charged with the Read More
De Nile is not just a river in Egypt
We've all heard that joke about the famous river in Egypt. You know, the one that goes “De Nile is not just a river in Egypt.” Well, there is so much denial in adoption, I could cry me a river. When an individual or couple adopt they must accept that the child will be very different from them. And they need to honor and cherish the child's differences and support the child being who he or she really is. So much of who we are is genetic. This is obviously the case with a person's looks, but people raised in their biological families know that there are Read More
Freedom of Speech
Do adoptees have freedom of speech? I don't think so. Whenever an adopted person tries to bring up the fact that adoption is not all it's cracked to be, he or she is met with rebuttals like, "Adoptive parents love their children just as much as biological parents do", or "You're making an assumption that the child would have had a better life if she'd been kept in her original family." Well, those things may be true. But here's a newsflash: Adoption is not about the adoptive parents love for the child. Adoption is far too difficult and complicated to be simplified in such a way. Oh, how I wish Read More
Adoption is about the Child
Shocking, isn't it? To think that adoption is about the child. One certainly wouldn't draw that conclusion from reading this article about another celebrity couple who recently adopted. The entire article is about how long the adoption process took and what a 'crazy ride' it was. Did it never occur to this couple that maybe the reason it took so long and was such a 'crazy ride' is because mothers, even unmarried mothers, aren't falling all over themselves to give their babies to strangers?...Apparently not. In American culture, the mindset about adoption is so overwhelmingly from the point Read More
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