I’m going to go out on a limb today and speak up about a couple of things that many may not agree with. It’s hard to speak up when what you want to say may not be popular opinion. I’ve learned in the last year it’s scary to put yourself out there. You risk criticism and backlash, but sometimes the unpopular opinion needs to be voiced.
The last couple of days we have been bombarded with the tragic stories of children being “re-homed” by their adoptive parents. The tales of what these children suffered are horrific. At first, these adoptive parents disgusted me. They went to another country and took children from their home. They took children who didn’t ask to be taken and then gave up and gave them away. How many natural parents would give their kids away to people whom they had no idea of who or what they were let alone have an underground group in which to facilitate the process?
Then, I read a few articles like the one here. Understand, I do not excuse these people for their actions. I argued against my granddaughter being adopted by strangers because I knew we really would not know who or what she would be going home with. Turns out even people you’ve known since you were 17 years old aren’t who or what you really thought them to be, either. But, I digress.
After some consideration, and after considering other views, I see a similarity with these adoptive parents and expectant mom’s and dad’s who are dealing with an unplanned, and life changing, event and do not know where to turn. They are trying to deal with an out-of-control situation the enormity of which is overwhelming. They have no support. They were told one thing and the truth, they eventually learn, is far different. I believe we all have a lot in common. We were sold a bill of goods by a lawyer or an adoption agency, and now we are left in a situation we weren’t prepared for and were never warned would happen. This is what occurs when a billion dollar unregulated industry is allowed to operate so unrestricted. People suffer.
So, even though it may be difficult to find empathy for these people I think it behooves us to do just that. We need to join forces and find common ground to fight for what’s best for our children.
Speaking of what’s best for our children…the UN released a statement today asking the US courts to honor Veronica Brown’s right to stay with her father and her people. A response to the UN Statement was released by NICWA (National Indian Child Welfare Association) and NCAI (National Congress of American Indians) and Angel Smith, the Cherokee Nation appointed attorney involved in the Veronica Brown case, praising the UN’s statement of support for Veronica Brown staying with her father. (You can read it here) Ms. Smith commented in the article if Veronica Brown were “any other child” her rights would have been taken into consideration by the courts. I believe if she were “any other child” her rights would have been disregarded, the C’s would have won custody 2 years ago, and we wouldn’t know who Dusten or Veronica Brown were. His rights would have been terminated as both Oklahoma and South Carolina have putative father registries. Even if they didn’t, he would have been hard pressed to find an attorney willing to take on a case with the odds so against winning. With the ICWA in play it’s a different story.
I pray Veronica Brown stays with her father and her people. She deserves to be raised with all the wonderful culture she was born into. I pray too each child has the same chance because every child deserves to know who they are and not be stripped of their heritage.
These two vastly different stories still have one thing in common. The adoption industry. The agencies and lawyers who will do whatever it takes to get your money. It’s apparent many of them couldn’t care less about bodies they leave behind.