Last week made me realize how much this adoption has cost our family. I've found myself unable to reconcile the situation in which we are a part. It is something that I find incomprehensible. I sit and think for hours and try to analyze and make sense of the mess, and it has brought home to me how true it is that adoption should be the very last option. The damage it has done to our family isn't quantfiable, and I include our extended family in this statement. One thing I hate about trying to tell people our story is the tendency for people to say, "well, Read More
California’s SB 1476 and Adoptee Rights
This bill has passed the Senate in the California legislature and is expected to go in front of the Assembly by the end of the month. It is a bill that proposes a child be allowed to have more than 2 parents. I believe it could help secure visitation legally for a woman considering relinquishing her child. It would allow the child to grow up knowing their biological parents. That's not why I'm writing this, though. I'm writing because of a comment made in the article Should a Child Have 3 or More Parents? Calif.'s Legislature Read More
So many questions….
I have so many questions regarding pursuing a relationship with our granddaughter. I've read some adoptee blogs that have an opinion it would have been too difficult for them to have a relationship with their natural families while growing up. Is this true for a lot of adoptees? Is the "open adoption" situation not as ideal for the child as everyone makes it out to be? Maybe some adoptees can give their opinion on this?Our daughter only considered a stranger adoption for half-a-second. She knew pretty quick it wasn't something she was prepared to do. So, her uncle Read More
Lecture on Adoption
I came across this video on Scoop.it. It is a bit long, but I thought he did an excellent job explaining the trauma experienced by a child who has been relinquished and the problems relinquishment can cause later on in life. Of course, I wish we would have known this before my daughter relinquished. I would have done everything in my power to keep my daughter and granddaughter together. If you are thinking of relinquishing your child, watch this video. Read More
Ninja Worrier
I worry about everything. I've suffered from this condition since my oldest child was born. When my babies were small, I used to worry about snakes getting in their cribs. That was a worry that seemed a little far fetched until the recent news story about the dad who found a snake in his son's crib. Eeekkk!!Most of the worries have grown as my children have grown. I'm not sure if I'd rather have those small baby worries or the adult child worries. Maybe I'd just rather stop worrying so much all together. Yeah, I think it's the last one. I Read More
Assumptions
Tonight Cassi at Adoption Truth posted a message asking readers to help a grandmother with advice on how to get her daughter to reconsider adoption for her unborn child. Since this is a subject near and dear to me, I commented giving what little advice I have and sent my thoughts and prayers to the woman asking for help. I hope beyond hope that she is able to convince her daughter to reconsider. When I hear something like this, I feel like I'm obligated to give advice. For example, a few weeks ago I was searching Yahoo! for something, and I came across this girl who had posted a question Read More
A Little Light In The Dark
I was completely caught off guard yesterday when I read Susie's post at "Finding Christopher, Finding Myself". I have to admit, it made me cry. We have suffered through this horrible experience with little, if any, understanding from others. Most people have an idea that it has been a bad time for our family, but to have someone truly understand is like a light turning on in a dark room. Throughout this whole ordeal we've been made to feel as if there is something wrong with us, that somehow our reaction to the events was unusual. I carry a lot of guilt around not only for not Read More
To Blog Or Not To Blog?
When I first thought about beginning this blog, I was excited then nervous. After all, I am not an adoptee, first parent or adoptive parent. I have been affected by adoption in a terrible way, but I am not a member of that inner crowd. I really felt as if I had no right to begin blogging about something like this because I was not a member of that triangle. I considered and reconsidered many times. One thought that struck me while mulling the idea over is maybe no one will ever read anything I write. That's not really important, though. I know that most of what I write is for myself. Read More
Beware the “Pregnancy Resource Center”!
As I mentioned in my previous post, when I found out Charlie was pregnant I couldn't deal with the news. I was so disappointed. After years of putting off my own education, I had finally earned my undergraduate degree earlier that year. I'd graduated from college, and Charlie had graduated from high school. I was looking forward to starting some kind of career. I'd spent the previous 19 years as a stay-at-home mom. I'd held odd jobs now and then, but I mostly stayed at home. I did not want to help raise another child. I knew Charlie needed to talk to someone, someone other than me. She needed Read More
Happy Father’s Day!
I'm dedicating this post, my first, to my husband. He's a loving and intelligent person. And, of course, a good father. When Charlie, our daughter, became pregnant, he was the only calm person among the three of us. If I'd followed his example and suggestions, Charlie would have her daughter. I couldn't calm my panic over becoming a grandparent or possibly having to help parent another child. I can give a lot of reasons why I panicked, but none would justify my granddaughter being adopted away from her family. Olivia has only seen her first mother one time, and we've never been Read More
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