“Look up there on the road. What is that?”
As we got a little closer, I saw it clearly. “That’s a lizard!” I yelled to my husband as we were coming off the interstate and driving up the exit ramp.
“That’s not a lizard, Kellie,” he said. “How could that possibly be a lizard?”
“Drive closer, I want a better look.” I told him thinking I was going to prove him wrong.
Upon closer inspection I didn’t see a lizard.
“It’s a McDonald’s cup'” I said disappointed because I was so sure of the lizard! A lizard in Omaha, Nebraska….on a freezing, snowy January night. Even if such a thing as warm blooded lizards existed today, I doubt they’d ever be mistaken for a McDonald’s cup. Looking back to this moment in time in January 1990, I still see a lizard in my minds eye, but I also see the cup the lizard morphed into. Two totally different views held side by side for me to understand how mistaken I was.
People can be sooo sure they are right about something and…poof…reality is turned on it’s proverbial head, and something totally different emerges. This is how I feel about my discovery about adoption. I knew, I KNEW, my view was THE RIGHT view prior to our granddaughter being relinquished. Then, just as quick as a lizard can morph into a McDonald’s cup, my view on adoption turned upside down. I realized I had everything backwards. Where once my sympathies lay with the adoptive couple fighting for the child, they now lay with the biological family realizing they made a mistake in relinquishing and fighting for their child’s return.
I’ve tried to keep up with what is going on with the story of the little girl whose life is in limbo because the adoptive parents refuse to give up their fight. This case is painful to watch because the Capobianco’s, the adoptive parents, are not thinking of the little girl. They are fighting for their own selfish needs and wants.
Mr. Brown began this fight when his daughter was four months old. Even though he signed away his rights to his daughter, he thought she would remain with her mother. Upon realizing his mistake, he moved to block the adoption so his daughter would be raised with her biological relatives.
Does Mr. Brown make the most sympathetic character? No, but neither do the Capobianco’s with their continual fight to take this child back from her biological family. In the past, I would have sided with the Capobianco’s. My old self would think the four months they had with her as being the next best thing to forever. Now, I believe the minute he asked for his daughter back they should have given her back. Without the Indian Child Welfare Act, the law favored the Capobianco’s. However, this doesn’t mean ethics favored them, and when you are talking about the life of a child ethics and morals should be the law of the land. If they would have accepted the fact the child belonged with her biological family when she was 4 months old, there would be no case to go to the U.S. Supreme Court, and this little girl would not have been torn from a family after 2 years. Now, they want to risk more upheaval. These are not people who are thinking of the child.
There is no doubt in my mind who should win this case. Mr. Brown. Not because he’s the biological father, but because the little girl has a right to be raised with her biological family. Her claim trumps all others. If this case is supposed to be about what’s in the best interests of the child, that’s, as my Scottish friends would say, the decision made.