The past week or so I’ve went from a little hope (like I said in my last post here) to no hope at all. I guess the C’s left Oklahoma with a police escort and didn’t have to file another ICPC. I am disappointed to say the least. Actually, that’s not quite right….I’m embarrassed to be an American. I am embarrassed that we’ve become a nation that tramples a child’s civil rights in order to make money.
I am embarrassed that our country’s leaders can’t sit down like big girls and boys and work things out.
Last week was a really bad week for my family. My husband hit a buck (a male deer) and totaled his car. He wasn’t hurt, thank goodness, but that was actually better than the following day at work. I topped the week off with a conversation with my youngest daughter that started out normal but ended anything but.
For those of you who don’t know, my youngest daughter is in the Army National Guard. She was deployed to Afghanistan earlier this year. She could have opted out of the deployment because she is also in college, but she wanted to be with her unit. I wasn’t happy, but I supported her decision (Not like I had much of a choice).
My daughter and I chat frequently on Facebook Messenger. It is a convenient way to stay in touch as she very rarely has time to Skype. She is about 9 and a half hours ahead of our time and is asleep during our day and vice versa. I leave messages on Facebook and when she has time to chat she lets me know. I left a message Friday morning apologizing for missing her call the night before because my phone died. She got back to me later that day at about 11 am our time. Our conversation went like this:
Me: “Sorry I missed your call last night”
DD: (2 hours later) “That’s okay”
Me: “Are you feeling okay?”
DD: “Yeah, I’m fine”
(There was some conversation here about her boyfriend she probably wouldn’t want me to post…then…)
Me: “So, what time is it there?” (I was wondering why she was online so late)
DD: “830” (PM she gets up at about 4 AM for duty)
Me: “What time do you usually go to bed?”
DD: “Around now, but I can’t go shower. I might have to skip it today.”
DD: “We’re on lock down from IDF.”
Me: “What’s IDF?” (No, I didn’t know what IDF was and didn’t understand why they would be on lock down. I read what she wrote to my boss who then googled it. She came up with Israel Defense Forces and International Dairy Farmers among other things but not what IDF really is. It took my daughter a long time to reply.)
DD: “Indirect Fire.” She finally wrote.
Me: “You didn’t want to tell me that did you?”
DD: “Tell you what?”
Me: “What IDF is. That it is indirect fire. I know I freak out a little bit about things.”
DD: “Oh…you could have googled it.”
Me: “We did. We got everything from International Dairy Farmers to Israel Defense Forces. Didn’t think you were being attacked by cows or Israel. It’s not a good feeling knowing your daughter can’t go take a shower because she might get shot.”
DD: “No, it’s indirect. No small arms.”
Me: “Of course it’s probably not a good feeling knowing YOU can’t take a shower knowing you might get shot.”
DD: “No one that wants to shoot us can get into the FOB, much less this camp.”
Me: “What does FOB stand for?” (I am so clueless about the military acronyms)
DD: “Forward Operating Base.”
Me: (It finally dawns on me) “What do you mean indirect fire? No small arms?”
DD: “Small arms means hand held guns, bullets. Crew serve means big guns on vehicles. IDF is in the form of rockets fired from far away.”
(Now, I’m really freaking out. My daughter is having this conversation with me while there is someone shooting rockets at their camp, and I’m talking about cows and Israel like an idiot.)
Me: “I feel so much better now. Do you have your helmet on?” (Fairly sure that wouldn’t help, but it’s the first thing that pops into my head. The next thought is of her getting under her mattress, but I didn’t say it.)
DD: “They’re hard to aim, and the people shooting them are bad at it. They almost never hit anything even on the FOB, much less anyone or anything.” (I googled this and found out several troops had just been killed by indirect fire at the same base where my daughter is stationed. I know she was saying this to make me feel better.)
Me: “I am really sorry I asked.”
I was very protective when my kids were little. They rarely even stayed all night with their grandparents let alone with friends. I always worried if something were to happen other people might put their own safety before my kids’ safety. I knew I would never make that mistake. I relaxed as they got older. Since we’ve lost one of our own to adoption, I’ve wanted to tighten my grip again. That doesn’t work so well with adult children.
It scares the hell out of me that my daughter is over there and in more danger than she has ever been, and I can’t be there to throw myself in front of that danger. Now we have people in this country like our leaders who can’t seem to get it together to lead this country and our United States Supreme Court and a couple of State Supreme Courts are legalizing the kidnapping of our children.
I am angry that my daughter is risking her life defending a country that has so little regard for it’s own people. I am angry they are putting their own well-being before our children. Before my child.
I am angry I have to talk to my daughter while people are shooting rockets at her. I am angry there are lawyers, judges and politicians here disobeying and ignoring laws to serve their own greedy needs while my daughter sits in another country getting shot at to secure the very freedom they have and they are using that freedom to rape their own people.
I am angry.