"Of all the jazz joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine."* This post may be surprising to my regular readers since I usually tell my story and my views on adoption in more general terms. But the reason I haven’t been writing as much of late is because I have been brokenhearted. Something happened to me this past summer which was a trigger for memories of an event that happened 30 plus years ago, and the best way to describe myself these days is as a ‘discombobulated emotional mess.’ I alluded to some of these issues in my last post where I wrote about how adoption made Read More
The Premise is Bullsh!t
Every separation is a link. --Simone Weil The premise from the Baby Scoop era that raising an adopted child is the same as raising a bio-child and therefore nothing more needs to be said, is bullsh!t. The premise that since the adoptive parents love the child as much as they would a bio-child means all will be well, and that the adoptive parents’ point of view is all that matters, is bullsh!t. How could raising an adopted child and raising a biological child be the same? How could anyone truly believe it didn’t matter, when knowing where one comes from is one of the most Read More
Thank heavens I found them
I recently caught a segment on PBS NEWSHOUR and the topic was in vitro fertilization (IVF) and its ethical concerns. But as usual there was little mention of the children created by these methods. What was most striking to me is that throughout all the discussion of multiples and the problems therein, and about how to determine a success rate, there was never any mention of the child who would be created--except in so far as how multiples have a higher likelihood of health problems than singles. But there was no mention at all about which people these children are biologically related to and Read More
If There’s One Thing I Know
If there’s one thing I know, it’s that an unmarried parent does not make a terrible parent just because of her marital status. Sorry conservatives, you are totally wrong on that one. And as our country and even the world become more conservative I feel I must raise the alarm. We cannot go back to the idea that all that matters for a child’s best interest is that he is raised by married parents, even if they are not the child's biological parents. Of course, if we lived in an ideal world every child would be born into a stable, loving relationship and would be kept by their natural Read More
Is Sexism Over?
This is an outdated post that was written during the 2016 U.S. presidential primaries, albeit not previously published. Its principal message, however, is still relevant. Back in 1968, the late senator Bobby Kennedy predicted that in 40 years it was a realistic possibility that a black man could be elected president. I wonder what would have been the reaction if someone had suggested that in 40 years a woman might also become president. Laughing hysterically? Sneers and jeers? Dumbfounded silence? But no, wait, that never would have happened. No one would have ever even thought of Read More
Because she’s a woman
Well, the election has been over for months, the inauguration has taken place, yet there is still one issue that I notice people are denying, or at least are reluctant to face. And that is, did Hillary Clinton’s gender have anything to do with her loss? The prevailing wisdom seems to be that she was a flawed candidate and that she represented ‘business as usual’ in Washington, which the majority of people no longer wanted. Those things may be true, but I can’t get myself to agree that sexism has completely been eradicated and that a woman has an equal chance of winning the presidency as a Read More
Freedom of Speech–Part 2
As I have mentioned before, I don’t believe adoptees have freedom of speech. Whenever an adopted person tries to bring up the fact that adoption is not all it's cracked to be, he or she is met with rebuttals. I analyzed several of those rebuttals in my earlier post. So now I'd like to share another rebuttal, and one that I consider the piece de resistance— “What did you want your mother to do? You were unwanted. She did what she thought was best for you by giving you up.” Aargh! Obviously, anyone who could say such a thing has been too influenced (brainwashed) by the adoption industry and Read More
Open Adoption Revealed
{Please click on ‘Read More’ to best view this post} As an expectant mother You’d never believe those nice, helpful people Were trying to coerce Until you succumb to their pressure And discover adoption is rarely for the better It's usually for the worse You believed all their promises Which seemed so fair and true Yet once you deliver the baby You may find they're done with you They made you feel so welcome "You're one of the family now" But once you hand over the baby You'll be treated like a stage actress Who’s expected to take her bow They’ll remind you Read More
A Note to Our Readers
Our readers will have noticed that our blog and Facebook page have become more political of late. But not to worry—we are as passionate as ever in our convictions about the importance of family preservation and adoptee rights. With the fate of our democracy seemingly hanging in the balance, we feel strongly that bringing attention to some of these issues is the right thing to do. For those who share our political point of view, we hope that our more political posts and Facebook updates will give you food for thought and will inspire some political action on your part. As Mother Teresa Read More
Sharing our Stories–A First Mother’s Perspective
We believe that sharing our stories is one of the best ways to counteract the prevailing narrative that adoption is always good and to show instead that it is actually much more complex, with far more negative consequences, than is generally believed in American culture. We have shared adoptee stories and are so pleased today to be able to share a story from a first mother’s perspective. Irish-born Christine Lindsay is the author of multi-award-winning Christian fiction and non-fiction as well as a motivational speaker. Her writing and speaking career began with her non-fiction memoir Read More
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