"To offer a home to a child in need is a great thing, to help a family keep their child is noble." --Frequent commenter Jay Iyer’s father Dear Father, I was the greatest blessing of your life and you threw it away. You not only had a wonderful daughter, but a healthy daughter. And not only a healthy daughter, but a loving daughter. And not only a loving daughter, but a kind and caring daughter. And not only a kind and caring daughter, but an ethical one as well. And yet, you chose to give away one of life’s greatest blessings if not THE greatest blessing--a blessing that Read More
Happy Birthday, Olivia Grace!
We can't believe you are 8 today! Time goes by so fast. We hope your day is extra special and all your wishes come true. You are the reason this blog was started, so we hope all our readers will join us in wishing you the happiest birthday ever! Read More
A Little Reminder
{Please click on ‘Read More’ to best view this post} Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it. --Edmund Burke—18th century Irish statesman First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Communists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I did not speak Read More
We Are Right!
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” --Martin Luther King Jr. For all of us who understand that every person has a right to know his true biological heritage, and that of course includes free and unfettered access to his original birth certificate, and to every person who fights to keep families together whenever possible instead of unnecessarily tearing them apart, I want to say this: We can't give up because WE ARE RIGHT AND WE KNOW IT! We are not the first people in history who had to fight tooth and nail for a just and righteous Read More
Much Ado About Nothing?
This post is dedicated to Cherry. Is adoption really much ado about nothing as the prevailing view wants us to believe? Is the fact that the adoptive parents love the child, and that most people don’t even bat an eye anymore when learning that a child is adopted, mean that adoption is now a non-issue? Hardly! I consider myself a test case since I grew up with 4 siblings, all of whom were biological kids. Some were the children of my adoptive parents and others the child of one adoptive parent and a stepparent. But what they all had in common was that they were being raised by or Read More
What were the chances?
"Of all the jazz joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine."* This post may be surprising to my regular readers since I usually tell my story and my views on adoption in more general terms. But the reason I haven’t been writing as much of late is because I have been brokenhearted. Something happened to me this past summer which was a trigger for memories of an event that happened 30 plus years ago, and the best way to describe myself these days is as a ‘discombobulated emotional mess.’ I alluded to some of these issues in my last post where I wrote about how Read More
The Premise is Bullsh!t
Every separation is a link. --Simone Weil The premise from the Baby Scoop era that raising an adopted child is the same as raising a bio-child and therefore nothing more needs to be said, is bullsh!t. The premise that since the adoptive parents love the child as much as they would a bio-child means all will be well, and that the adoptive parents’ point of view is all that matters, is bullsh!t. How could raising an adopted child and raising a biological child be the same? How could anyone truly believe it didn’t matter, when knowing where one comes from is one of the most Read More
Thank heavens I found them
I recently caught a segment on PBS NEWSHOUR and the topic was in vitro fertilization (IVF) and its ethical concerns. But as usual there was little mention of the children created by these methods. What was most striking to me is that throughout all the discussion of multiples and the problems therein, and about how to determine a success rate, there was never any mention of the child who would be created--except in so far as how multiples have a higher likelihood of health problems than singles. But there was no mention at all about which people these children are biologically related to and Read More
Happy Birthday, Veronica!
Today, let's all take a moment and think of Veronica Brown and wish her a very happy 8th birthday. She is one year closer to being able to make her own decision about whom she considers her family and where she wants to live. We also send our thoughts to Dusten, Robin, their baby boy, and the entire Brown family. I'm sure you are all thinking of Ronnie today and reliving the pain of being forced to let her go. Many adoptees have said that the day of their birth is triggering, that they find it to be an especially painful day. With that in mind, we hope that Ronnie will be in touch with her Read More
If There’s One Thing I Know
If there’s one thing I know, it’s that an unmarried parent does not make a terrible parent just because of her marital status. Sorry conservatives, you are totally wrong on that one. And as our country and even the world become more conservative I feel I must raise the alarm. We cannot go back to the idea that all that matters for a child’s best interest is that he is raised by married parents, even if they are not the child's biological parents. Of course, if we lived in an ideal world every child would be born into a stable, loving relationship and would be kept by their natural Read More
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